Finding Your Identity As A Christian Mom

I’ve been hearing it over and over… in my Bible study, from friends, online and even in my own head…

Am I more than a mom?
Who am I?
What is my purpose?
What is my identity?

I know, those all seem like really big questions. And you’re right, they are. Despite being big questions we still find ourselves searching for the answers, feeling overwhelmed and lost.

I think as the opportunities for women to find purpose in working outside of the home or even working from home increases (which I think is a beautiful thing for some mamas) we will begin to see these questions even more.

Our hearts are torn between being with our family and living out a passion we feel called to.

choosing work or family the lovely adventure blog

Whether you are a mama that works outside or inside the home you’ve had days where you felt imbalanced. Maybe you ended the day feeling like you spent too much time on housework than with your child. Or when you got home from your job you were too exhausted to be intentional and just wanted to check out.

We’ve all been there.

The things is, I don’t know the answer to the “as a mom, should I be working or not?” question. I think that requires a lot of prayer, research and listening between you, God and your family. I’m not here to answer that for you.

What I do know to be true is that your sense of self and identity is not in what you do. We are more than our actions (thank you, Jesus). We are, however, the intention and the heart behind our actions.

I think the questions we should be asking ourselves are:

Who am I in God’s eyes?
What am I doing with the time I DO have with my family?
Am I loving others well?

Christian Mom Identity The Lovely Adventure blog

Who am I in God’s eyes?

Dear sweet soul, you are His. You are immeasurably precious, the Lord says so…

“Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life. Fear not, for I am with you; I will bring your offspring from the east, and from the west I will gather you. I will say to the north, Give up, and to the south, Do not withhold; bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the end of the earth, everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.”

— Isaiah 43: 4-7

You are a child of God…

“See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.”

— 1 John 3:1

Those are the labels you should wear first before you let the world place anymore on you. Even the label of mama. Our identity will not be found in the world.

Our identity is in Christ.

It is because of Christ that we can approach our creator. You are a beautiful human being created with such intention and care by your God. Soak that in.

What am I doing with the time I DO have with my family?

Are you wasting your time scrolling your phone on social media (meeee) or passive aggressively stewing in anger because you are secretly annoyed that you didn’t accomplish very much today (also, meeeee) or are you tired and checked out because you’re stuck on finding your worth and identity in being busy? (do I need to say it again? okay, I will. ME)

Be intentional with your time,
schedule/plan your day (attempt to),
research productivity tactics that fit best with your family rhythm and test them out

… find things that work for you so that you make the most of the time we are given.

Am I saying never be on your phone? no.

Am I saying never take a nap or watch Netflix or just sit and check out? no.

I’m saying find a balance that works for you so that at the end of the day you can say…

yes, I had quality time with my children
I had quality time with my husband
I was productive when I needed to be
I also gave myself time to rest so that I’m not resentful at the end of the day

**Also, as a side note, recognize when you are in a season of natural imbalance. Sometimes you’re renovating your house or maybe you are grieving or moving or you’ve just added a new little being to your world. Those require flexibility and are naturally unbalanced and we have to learn to be okay with that.

Am I loving others well?

Dear, sweet friend, I fully believe this is the greatest way to measure if we are living out our purpose. We are called to this. Whether you are working outside or inside the home your purpose is to love others the way that Jesus has shown us to.

Do you go to work and love your co-workers by being helpful, hardworking, forgiving, gracious and above all kind?
Do you do your housework diligently throughout the week showing your child that discipline and caring for what God has given you is important?
When you are done with work, are you present?
Do you engage even if it’s just for 20 minutes?
Do you take time when you’re at home to turn off the TV, put away your phone and play or intentionally interact with your children or have a conversation with your husband?
Do you share God with your family whether it’s through prayer or asking how they saw God today at the dinner table?

There are so many tiny moments in our day whether they are spent with co-workers, family, friends or our children that serve as opportunities to live out our purpose and BE who God created us to be.

A disciple of Christ, a follower of Jesus, a child of God, a lover and encourager of other human beings who have also been created in the image of your God. That is your purpose. That is the foundation and core of your identity.

Christian Mom Identity and Purpose The Lovely Adventure Blog

All the other things we pile on top are titles and accolades that the world gives us. Don’t chase after those before you first start at the beginning of who you were created to be.

And if you feel you have failed, sweet soul, I am holding your hands in mine and looking you straight in the eyes and saying, “me too”. That’s why we have Jesus and why I am always thankful that God’s mercies are new each day. Let’s try again, together.