10 Things to Make Times of Transition in Life Easier

We had just arrived back home from the airport and I could feel it. That discontent feeling when you arrive home and so many things are different. My husband had done a lot of projects when we were gone and even the slightest change in furniture placement made me feel uneasy. It’s not that I wasn’t grateful for his hard work when we were gone… I’m forever grateful for his handy and hard work. I just knew that it was never going to be the same as it had been for months… and on top of having to adjust to a new routine we now had to change the way we moved about our house and it felt like a lot to wrap my tired brain around.

Now, this may seem like a small problem. And in fact, you’re correct. Having my laundry in a different place and my bedroom configuration moved around isn’t that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. But, it was still a transition we had to get used to and it caused me to really look at how I deal with change and what tools I can develop and use to get through them more easily.

The definition of transition is: the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another.

Transitions in our lives can be big or small. Big examples could include; moving, getting a new job, getting married, adding another child to your family or adding a new pet. Transitions could be small like; transitioning from dinner to bedtime, moving the furniture around, a house renovation (could be big or small) or a change in schedule.

**As a note I do want to point out that not all transitions are joyful. Sometimes heartbreak and loss can bring us into a season of grief combined with transition. While some of these tools may be helpful during those times, please know that I think grief and loss are a whole different topic and type of transition. They require extra gentleness, care and a whole new level of tools and resources. I’m not going to touch on those during this post, because I honestly don’t have the answers, but I encourage you to seek out other blogs, counseling services and friends who can better serve your specific needs.

These are the tools I was inspired to think about and practice as we transitioned from one season of life to another. As you’ll see, the psychology degree in me really came out for this one! haha Analyzing and becoming self aware of where our energy and emotions are going is a large part of the foundation to managing your time, finding a rhythm and embracing change.

10 Steps to Help You Embrace Change

1. Recognize that you are in a transition

If we fail to do this, we can cause a lot of guilt or negative feelings to build up. Transitions are hard. I don’t know many people who deal with change without some level of tension or grieving the old. If we continue to go on without stopping and recognizing what season we are in the tension and feeling of being a little “lost” can knock our confidence and have us wondering why we can’t seem to find our rhythm.

You can do this by:

1. making a list of things that have changed

2. making a list of why those changes are hard or easy for you

3. Talking through the changes with a friend and vocalizing why this season is hard for you

2. Being aware of your mental state

This can go hand in hand with number 1 but I think it is important to separate them. It is important to first recognize that you are in a transition and then become aware of how this is effecting your energy/mental state. Have you transitioned to a new job? Did you just have another child? Those are two examples of big transitions that can be very draining mentally. You are constantly thinking, the change in routine has your body exhausted and these can all contribute to your ability to adapt during this time.

Even small transitions can take a toll on our mental state depending on what events have come before. Have you just worked a long day and now have to come home, cook dinner and put kids to bed? Or have you just taken care of your child, cooked, cleaned and run errands all day and now your husband walks in the door adding another human who needs attention? It can be exhausting and noting your mental state at times of transition can be key to recognizing what tools or changes need to be implemented.

Besides draining our energy transitions can leave us feeling uprooted, uncomfortable and vulnerable. All of these feelings can cause our defenses to go up and our unhealthy emotional responses to come out in everyday situations we used to be able to stay calm in. Recognizing our vulnerabilities and defense mechanisms can help control the way we respond to perceived stress in times of transition.

You can do this by:

1. Looking at your day and recognizing what transitions are hard for you

2. Thinking about your mental state during those transitions (do you tend to have more negative thoughts? Are you overwhelmed? Do you dread it?)

3. Look at any of the next steps and see if they can help you determine how you can make this transition more joyful / less draining.

3. Recognize tension in relationships

Russell and I tend to argue more during transitional periods. When we come home from vacation - boom. When we moved- it was rough. When we had Bowen - tired, stressed parents + transition = all the arguments.

The transition from our afternoon play into dinner time is hard on Bowen and I. There is a tension and often some screaming and exhausted sighs. It’s something we are working on but the tension is definitely there.

Your marriage isn’t broken. You aren’t a bad mother. Your friendship isn’t over. You my sweet friend, are in a transitional period.

You can do this by:

1. Recognizing that the arguments are more about the stress and overwhelm of the season than you personally can heal many wounds.

2. Look at the pattern of arguments or moments of tension in your day… are they coming from a time of transition?

3. Try (this is a hard one) to recognize this in the moment or shortly after… what is this argument / tension really about?

4. Do the minimum

In times of transition we can be tempted to fill our schedule with busyness to ignore that uneasy feeling of being uprooted and vulnerable. But, in order to put down roots we need to stay still for a little while. Be gentle with yourself and embrace the uncomfortable. I’m not telling you to be a hermit or sit around and do nothing. I’m telling you to be aware that there is a line between being busy and being productive. Be productive with your time. Your mind and body may need more rest than usual during this period.

You can do this by:

1. Scheduling the minimum during your day.

2. Creating larger time blocks for events than usual

3. Saying no, even if you might normally say yes (if you need help with this read my tips here)

5. Have Staple Routines

Creating a morning routine was one of the best things I have done for myself. Mornings have always been a hard transition for me. I always felt lost, grumpy and overwhelmed. So, I implemented my morning routine (you can read about it here) and now mornings are starting to be my favorite time of the day. Creating a routine that brings you joy (even if it is temporary) during times of transition can make a huge difference.

You can do this by:

1. Pin pointing times of transition

2. Creating a 3-4 step routine filled with things that bring you joy / ground you

3. Stick to them + follow through, you’re worth it

4. Also, getting on the same page as your spouse/family can be a game changing routine for your week (you can read about how we do that here)

6. Priority Grid

Have you ever made a to-do list and then felt even more lost and overwhelmed? Have you ever stared at it and not known what to do next or where to start? Maybe you just decided to scroll your phone instead because the list just made you tired…? That was me before I had a priority grid. It is my MUST HAVE item for managing your time. Have you used this yet?! Girrrrrrl, you NEED this! Download my guide to “your most productive week ever” and it will be sent straight to your inbox along with my other top time saving tips. They help your brain decide what is important for RIGHT NOW and forget the rest so that your overwhelm can significantly decrease.

p.s. I also wrote a whole blog post on this that you can read about here

You can do this by:

1. Downloading my Priority Grid via the form above

2. Write out everything swirling around in your brain onto the grid

3. Choose what tasks need to be done TODAY and schedule them.

4. Follow through, because you’re worth keeping promises for

5. Feel accomplished! You did it!

7. narrow your Focus

Narrowing your focus can be KEY during a time of transition. When everything around us seems to be impermanent or up in the air it is nice to mentally push everything aside and focus on a few small tasks.

You can do this by:

1. Focusing on JUST your morning. Don’t let yourself look ahead

2. Focus on JUST your afternoon. Don’t let yourself think about tomorrow

3. During a smaller time block make a detailed list of tasks that need to be completed and rewards you can give yourself when they are done (mine usually involve chocolate hahaha). This can help narrow your focus to only the tasks at hand

8. Ask For Prayer / Find Community

In times of transition I usually need more prayer. I have a lot of unknowns in my life, a lot of stress, tension and vulnerable feelings. Find a community or at least one person you can reach out to when you have a prayer request or just something you need to talk about. Looking to God’s word, having a devotional you can turn to and community is an overarching tool that can help you in any of these steps and any season of change.

You can do this by:

1. Being willing to be vulnerable and reach out to friends or family

2. Offering the same support when friends need you

3. Testing out and finding a devotional / Bible study that works for you

4. Finding verses and scripture to turn to during this season. Write them down so that you can easily access them.

9. Don’t wish it away

It is easy to wish away times of transition. No matter the size or the circumstances, change can be hard on any level. Wishing away the transitional season can be a dangerous mental state to be in. It can create a cycle of negative thoughts and leave you less likely to persevere by using these tools to add more joy instead of overwhelm.

You can do this by:

1. Using any of these tools to spark joy during this time of change

2. Create a time each day to write down AT LEAST one thing you are thankful for from your day (I recommend three).

3. Create accountability with a friend or spouse so that they can call you out (lovingly) when negativity tries to take over

10. Think Outside the Box

When we choose to not wish away our times of transition we become more open to change itself. This can inspire a “thinking outside the box” mentality and create changes that may actually be more healthy / life giving than what you were previously doing. Being open to change and an opportunity to grow or become a better version of yourself can be a gift and often create a sense of gratitude for this time instead of negativity.

You can do this by:

1. Thinking critically and creatively about struggles / tensions that are happening during this transitional season

2. Being proactive and coming up with solutions that bring more joy to your situation

3. Recognizing that feeling of “more joy” and using that to inspire more “out of the box” problem solving

Hi, love! I’m a little (okay… a lot) obsessed with vintage everything, married to an Aussie and love exploring Colorado.

I worked in Christian camping for ten years creating activities that are simple but effective.

Now I’ve learned that in order to fit in those important activities about God into our week, we need to first learn to find the time and manage it wisely.

So, I’m bringing you ways to manage your time and spend your new found freedom with intention and those you love most.

I’m so glad you’re here, sweet mama.

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I hope this list can help you better understand and approach times of transitions / change.

I’d love to know if you have any other tips to add! Have you used any of these 10 tips yourself? Did you find them useful?

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Time Saving Easy Instant Pot Recipes for Moms

If you’ve been following me for a while you know that every Monday is the day I do all things that “are not my gift”. On the top of that list is cooking! I do not like it, I’m not good at it and I find that it steals all my energy and joy. So, I make big batches of our favorite recipes on Monday with my Instant Pot and then I don’t have to make any more for the rest of the week! You can read more about my Monday schedule and how I brought more joy and energy to my week HERE.

These are the Instant Pot recipes I use almost every season and are great basics!

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Instant Pot Basmati White Rice:

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Instant Pot Frozen to Shredded Chicken:

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Instant Pot Mexican Beef and Rice:

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You could easily substitute the beef in this meal for the shredded chicken!

The instant pot has saved me SO much time. I don’t get joy from cooking so it is a great way to quickly get my cooking done and out of the way so that I can do the things that DO give me joy.

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About The Blogger

Hi, love! I’m a little (okay… a lot) obsessed with vintage everything, married to an Aussie and love exploring Colorado.

I worked in Christian camping for ten years creating activities that are simple but effective.

Now I’ve learned that in order to fit in those important activities about God into our week, we need to first learn to find the time and manage it wisely.

So, I’m bringing you ways to manage your time and spend your new found freedom with intention and those you love most.

I’m so glad you’re here, sweet mama.

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How to Make Time For Your Marriage in the Midst of Parenthood

Our Arguments On Repeat

“I feel like you would rather do anything on your “to-do” list than spend time with me”

“I feel guilty for working on projects because I know you wish I was doing something different”

“You never spend time with us!”

“Why can you plan a guy’s trip and not plan a date with your wife?”

“You are pressuring me to get all these projects done but also making me feel guilty for spending my time elsewhere”

Do any of these lines sound familiar? These are all taken directly from arguments between my husband and I. Most were arguments after we became parents but the discussions themselves have been happening long before we had even considered having kids.

I feel like I have always been begging him for more time together. It’s my love language. I feel most loved when he takes time out of all his many “to-do’s” and plans a trip or takes me out to eat or orders takeout that we can enjoy cozied up in bed watching our favorite show.

He has not always been good at this. He’s a perfectionist and the “ideal” date or romantic gesture always made him feel like nothing he thought of was ever good enough. That caused a huge wound for me in our marriage because I always felt ignored or unworthy of his time / creativity.

I’d bring up my hurt (usually in a very unhealthy and angry way) and he would become defensive because it was something he was insecure about. And then we would go round and round… arguing about all kinds of things but in the end it always came back to one of us wishing the other would just pay more attention and invest more time into our relationship.

And Then It Got Complicated

Then we had Bowen… and I feel like the first 6 months just don’t even count. You’re just trying to survive. You’re so consumed with this new tiny human that most of your arguments are because you haven’t had sleep in what feels like 3802939 years. But you move out of the fog, sort of get the hang of this parenting thing and then you realize… oh yeah… we’re still married. We made it. And I still like you, right? You begin to want more time together, just the two of you. At this point passing your little human off to a trusted family member or friend seems more and more tempting.

But our kids become more mobile, we get more busy. Our to-do lists during nap time and evenings become longer and longer because slowly it’s the only time we have to get things done. I get it. I get it all. We were there. Some days we still are.

Our to-do lists were a mile long, we couldn’t remember our last date night and our arguments slowly became more and more about the lack of attention we were giving each other.

So, we decided to change it. We couldn’t keep going at that pace. It was impossible. We decided to implement Monday night family meetings.

That choice to be intentional for 10-15 minutes one night a week has healed so many of our wounds we’ve been arguing about for years.

We call our Monday nights “Band Meetings” because it made us laugh but you can call them whatever you want!

Here’s how our meetings go:

After Bowen goes to sleep (around 8:00) we sit on our comfy vintage couch and go through our list of topics:

1. Schedule

2. Finances

3. Dreams / Goals

4. Favorite Part of the Past Week

5. Pray

How It has healed us

Talking through these things, understanding each other’s weeks, expectations, plans etc. is SO HEALING and important. We have decided to plan 1 date night and 1 family night into every week. This fills up my “please spend time with me or I’ll die” cup. Any other projects or adventures he needs to do without me doesn’t hurt me like it used to. I know I will get my time with him and as a family and that’s enough.

Russell now doesn’t feel guilty going climbing or working in his shed because he knows he is giving me the time I need.

I wish I could bring you into my house and sit you on my couch with my favorite mug full of coffee that says “choose joy” and tell you with all the seriousness and passion I have behind this computer screen right now that YOU NEED this in your marriage. You need the intention of setting aside time to talk about the mundane and ordinary things we gloss over. It looks different for every couple but IT IS SO HEALING. How many times have I said it? not enough.

We have struggled for so long with deep hurts that stemmed from putting “to-do” lists and personal goals over spending time with each other. Now that we have implemented “Band Meetings” our marriage is better than it ever has been. It’s still not perfect. We still argue and hurt each other with our words and actions. But, having weekly dates and family days has breathed new life into our relationship and I am so excited for what’s to come.

So, I highly encourage you to talk with your spouse and figure out what works for you.

Questions To Ask

• What are you missing in your relationship?

• What are your love languages?

• How can you include them more in your weekly schedule?

• What topics do you need to cover weekly to be on the same page?

Life is happening now. Let’s make the most of it, sweet friends.

Build disciplines and intentional rhythms that set you up for healing and a more beautiful life than you ever thought possible.

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About the Blogger…

Hi, love! I’m a little (okay… a lot) obsessed with vintage everything, married to an Aussie and love exploring Colorado.

I worked in Christian camping for ten years creating activities that are simple but effective.

Now I’ve learned that in order to fit in those important activities about God into our week, we need to first learn to find the time and manage it wisely.

So, I’m bringing you ways to manage your time and spend your new found freedom with intention and those you love most.

I’m so glad you’re here, sweet mama.

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How Choosing My People Over Busyness Changed My Life

What is your legacy?

What do you think of when you think of a legacy?

I often think of significant events… birthdays, weddings, funerals . Always at these events there are beautiful speeches and testimonies that are told about people and the way they lead their life. For a long time I didn’t ever purposefully try to shape my legacy… I just thought it was something that you leave behind and it’s how other people choose to tell your story.

I now believe differently. It’s how you choose to influence other people’s stories. It’s the way you pour into their life that shapes your legacy.

I think it’s too late if we try and shape or think about our legacy at the end of our life. It’s time to ask yourself today, “What legacy did I leave behind yesterday?” “Did I choose to love?”

“What can I do now to leave a legacy behind that tells those around me they are enough and worth my time?”

It is easy to listen to the messages of “hustle harder” and “when you reach the goal of (fill in the blank) you will finally be happy and have time for everything”.

Now, don’t get me wrong, we can do great things with our time throughout our lives. We can start non profits or businesses that give our families freedom and offer value. We can work purposeful jobs that provide for our families and serve others. Those are valuable things to do with our time.

I’m also not saying that you need to say yes to every invitation that comes your way. We need to protect our time and learn how to use it wisely. I think I would actually go crazy if I said yes to everything.

But, when we are saying no all the time because those goals, jobs or measures of success are taking over every aspect of our life…it takes us away from loving the real life humans God has so graciously put in our path. That is the point when we need to check our hearts.

Several years ago I was working a part time job in town, a part time job remotely on my off time and also running The Lovely Adventure. All the jobs were filled with the greatest intentions and I loved them all. They all sent messages out into the world that said, “You are loved” and one was even a Christian summer camp… I can’t think of a more beautiful mission than to share The Good News with our youth.

My heart was in the right place and I truly believed I was doing what God had called me to do. But I was stressed, not delegating, taking too many things on, terrible at saying “no” and literally running myself into the ground. I had taken opportunities God had given me and turned them into points of stress and exhaustion. Sounds like a classic human move, doesn’t it?

Soon after all of these things came to an end I had exhausted myself and realized just how empty my life was. I hadn’t seen my friends in months. I hadn’t seen my family. My marriage was full of arguments and painful conversations because we felt far apart even if we were in the same room. We were surviving on frozen pizza and the size of the laundry pile on our couch was embarrassing. I had to start at ground zero and figure out how to build everything that my busyness had destroyed.

God doesn’t make mistakes.

I don’t think it’s a “nice gesture” that he puts friends and family into our lives. I think it is purposeful and part of our calling to love those humans the best that we possibly can. They will be there to give the speeches and testimony of our legacy, after all. Are we telling them, “I don’t have time for you, I’m too busy.” or “Those things can wait, I’ll make the time.” ?

I’m sure you can guess which message I was giving out.

You see, all the good I was doing in all the jobs was worth nothing if the people who were put into my circle felt second best. If anyone had asked them how good of a friend, sister, wife, daughter etc. I was… if they were really honest, I think it would have been “a busy one….and not the best”.

Do we want to be busy or do we want to be a friend? Do we want to be successful or do we want to be there for those we love when they need us? What is God calling us to?

It’s all about balance and it’s a daily battle to fight for… but I want us to start thinking about shaping our legacies now before it’s too late. To choose our people over everything. To choose to love and to point people to Christ with our actions and the way we spend our time.

I sat down and thought about an action item to give you. I want you to think of at least three ways you want to be remembered.

So, when a friend is telling someone else about you they don’t say, “yeah she is really busy.” but instead, “She’s a really great friend. We have the best conversations, I can always call her if I need something”.

Here are the ways I want to be remembered:

1. Andrea loved people before her to-do list

2. Andrea wasn’t busy, she was productive with her time

3. Andrea didn’t waste the time God gave to her, it was her most valuable currency

4. Andrea gave solutions and did her best to help women fight overwhelm in their lives

Let’s be intentional, purposeful and passionate about shaping our legacy.

Let’s be women that value our time and our people over the busyness that tempts us with empty success, honor and pride.

I think you’ll find that so much you are missing and searching for will be found in the time you spend with the people God gave you.

Let’s not waste that blessing, sweet friends.

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Meet the Blogger

Hi, love! I’m a little (okay… a lot) obsessed with vintage everything, married to an Aussie and love exploring Colorado.

I worked in Christian camping for ten years creating activities that are simple but effective.

Now I’ve learned that in order to fit in those important activities about God into our week, we need to first learn to find the time and manage it wisely.

So, I’m bringing you ways to manage your time and spend your new found freedom with intention and those you love most.

I’m so glad you’re here, sweet mama.

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Other Posts You May Like…

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